Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
