Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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