I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i came on her dog
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
