dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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