We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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