This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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