Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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