so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
