Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My pussy is not your playground.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm bleeding and have questions
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