And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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