My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
