Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
