Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
