a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
