Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
