whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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