The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
