The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
