i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
