I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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