Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Never let your siblings swipe right.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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