im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
