to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
