So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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