Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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