i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
