Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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