i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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