i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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