what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
