She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You dont lie about slip and slides
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
