I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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