I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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