It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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