if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
