she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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