marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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