He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
