Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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