nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
