so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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