this boner is exhausting
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
