I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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