I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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