I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
