what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
