I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
