K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
