Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
It's never too late to be topless.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
