I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
