A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
