sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
